SavageDem

"I don't belong to an organized political party – I'm a Democrat." – Will Rogers

Author: SavageDem

  • Illegal Immigrants…from America!

    From the Manitoba Herald (which hasn’t existed since 1877):

    The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The recent actions of the Tea Party are prompting an exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they’ll soon be required to hunt, pray, and to agree with Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck.

    Canadian border farmers say it’s not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night. “I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn,” said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota . The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn’t have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?

    In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences,but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields. “Not real effective,” he said. “The liberals still got through and Rush annoyed the cows so much that they wouldn’t give any milk.

    Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons and drive them across the border where they are simply left to fend for themselves.” A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions,” an Ontario border patrolman said. “I found one carload without a single bottle of imported drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley Cabernet, though.”

    When liberals are caught, they’re sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races.

    In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans in powdered wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the ’50s. “If they can’t identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age.” an official said.

    Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and are renting all the Michael Moore movies. “I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can’t support them.” an Ottawa resident said. “How many art-history majors does one country need?”

  • Hope this holds…

    I like the look of Nate Silver’s final projection for MN Governor.

    Projected results for Minnesota governor race in 2010

  • Would we miss Nevada?

    Being a happy-clappy, tree-hugging liberal, I’m not usually in favor of mass extinction events. But if Sharron Angle becomes a U.S. Senator from NV, I might not be opposed to resuming nuclear warhead testing. In Las Vegas.

    I’m just sayin’.

  • I wondered how much I was “lifting” when doing push-ups. A web search reveals that most empirical tests show men lift about 70-77% of body weight. The physics formula for a Second Class Lever says:

    F * FA = R * RA

    F = Force (weight I’m pushing)
    FA = Force Arm (distance from axis (toes) to hands)
    R = Resistance (my body weight)
    RA = Resistance Arm (distance from axis to my body’s center of mass)

    The Google says center of mass for men usually is typically in the range of 55-60% of height. So, hypothetically speaking, for a six-foot man weighing 210 pounds, with hands during push-up placed about 41/2‘ from toes, and center of mass at 55% of height (40″)…

    F * 54″ = 210lb * 40″
    F = 155.5 lbs

    Which equates to about 74% of my body weight pushed during a push-up. Which falls right in with most empirical estimates!

    Thanks for the physics refresher from Exercise Prescription!

  • My Letter to Tim Pawlenty (MN Gov)

    Pawlenty,

    There is no polite way to say this, so I’ll just come right out and say it: You are an asshole. You have no desire to do ANYTHING that benefits the people of Minnesota. The only person you care about is yourself. Your narcissism and endless self-promotion is sickening, and the only amusing thing is that you are – and always will be – an inconsequential blip on the Presidential election scene. People outside of Minnesota don’t even know who you are, and people inside Minnesota can’t wait to be rid of you.

    Your latest insane rhetoric about doing everything possible to stop HCR is an indication of why you’ve reached the end of the line politically. In case you were unaware, HCR was passed by the Congress of the United States. That means – since you don’t seem to understand – that our duly-elected representatives voted to enact this legislation. Which means it’s law. Which means that you have to follow it. Which means that you don’t get to make unilateral decisions to ignore or subvert it. That’s called DEMOCRACY, a concept with which you seem to be unfamiliar.

    Your pathetic “administration” is on its way out. Quit trying to do more damage to the State of Minnesota. You’ve already managed to drown us in debt, kill our poorest citizens by denying them healthcare, ruin our formerly top-rated educational system, and bring down the quality of living for all but the richest Minnesotans. Why don’t you quit while you’re behind, do the honorable (another term that people with Anti-social Personality Disorder are unfamiliar with) thing, and resign your office now. It’s the only way for you to leave the office with any dignity.

    Very Sincerely,

    SavageDem

  • A Mother Fights Back Against Homophobia

    Many letters have been sent to the Valley News concerning the homosexual menace in Vermont. I am the mother of a gay son and I’ve taken enough from you good people.

    I’m tired of your foolish rhetoric about the “homosexual agenda” and your allegations that accepting homosexuality is the same thing as advocating sex with children. You are cruel and ignorant. You have been robbing me of the joys of motherhood ever since my children were tiny.

    My firstborn son started suffering at the hands of the moral little thugs from your moral, upright families from the time he was in the first grade. He was physically and verbally abused from first grade straight through high school because he was perceived to be gay.

    You simply must read the full text of this letter to the editor. Sharon Underwood from Vermont penned this wonderful response to homophobes back in 2000 in the Valley News out of White River Junction, VT.

  • DWI Emmer Wants to Make It Easier for Drunk Drivers

    GOP candidate for governor Tom Emmer is a great choice for Minnesota’s next top dog – if you’re a habitual drunk driver. Emmer, who has two DWIs of his own, has authored several bills that would ease penalties on DWI offenders.

    …he authored a bill which would have the practical effect of allowing DWI offenders to hide their convictions from the public after a period of time.

    It’s not surprising to find that Mark Buesgens – the guy that hates poor people, gays, minorities, and educating children, but still calls himself a “Christian” – is chairman of his campaign. These two scumbags were made for each other, and I’ll be laughing like hell watching their campaign go down in flames. They might as well get used to hot flames now…

  • Pawlenty Broke the Budget, But Refuses to Fix It

    Great post over at MNPublius on non-Governor Pawlenty and how he broke Minnesota’s budget, illegally – and that’s not opinion, that’s fact – tried to “fix” it by “unallotting” funds, and now refuses to support a real solution. TwoPuttTommy’s comment afterwards lays out a concise time-line showing exactly how this whole thing went down.

    The February 2009 Forecast predicted revenues of $31.1 Billion (rounded). Knowing that number, Pawlenty proceeded to sign Spending Bills of $33.8 Billion (rounded) anyway.

    This created a $2.7 billion deficit; from the Governor-approved spending and the Feb 2009 Forecast. A bill to balance that deficit, HF-2323, was passed and presented to the Gov. to sign. Except, Pawlenty didn’t sign that revenue bill to balance the budget; he vetoed it.

    Upon creating an unbalanced budget, TBag immediately claimed unilateral power to fix the problem he created. As to Pawlenty actions creating an anticipated budget problem, then using powers to deal with unanticipated budget problems? Twice, the Courts ruled against him.

  • The Fourth Reich

    Unbelievable. The Arizona Board of Education is banning teachers that have “heavy” accents from teaching English. They’re also eliminating funding for classes that “advocate ethnic solidarity” – aimed at eliminating the Mexican-American Studies Department in the Tucson school district.

    …in a move that was more covert until the Wall Street Journal uncovered it, the Arizona Department of Education has told schools that teachers with “heavy” or “ungrammatical” accents are no longer allowed to teach English classes.

    Full article at Huffington Post

    Asking for papers (“Ihre papiere, bitte.”), arresting people based on their skin color, driving out teachers and eliminating education on a ethnic basis…takes you right back to 1937.

  • Go Undercover at Gay-to-Straight “Conversion” Camp

    This is a fascinating bit of investigative journalism. Writer Ted Cox masquerades as gay to see what goes on at a gay “conversion” camp. He finds – as any sane person might expect – that it’s a farce, as there is nothing to be “cured.” It infuriates me that these sick bastards feed on obviously troubled people who have been made to feel as if there is something wrong with them.

    An excerpt:

    It was the first night of “Journey into Manhood,” a 48-hour weekend retreat designed to help gay men become straight. In that room, about fifty men — some thirty “Journeyers” and fifteen staff members — sat on the carpeted floor of a ranch lodge two hours outside of Phoenix, Arizona. Most of the men, except for a few of the staff members, struggled to overcome their attraction to other men.

    Sometime during all that holding and touching and singing, while I was cradled in the Motorcycle position, I felt it: the unmistakable bulge pressing through his tight jeans. It was the first time in my life I had a felt another man’s erection.

    Full article here